Some things, it's hard to feel, nevermind say
by Avenged Suffering
Summary: A Kai x Rei x Kai fic. Which means Shounen ai. A conversation we all know has many words, but what of the feelings. Short, please R


Right, this is just going to be a one shot. Just to clear that up. But review anyway, will you? Please? This is set just after the final battle against the All Stars  
  
Disclaimer - I don't own BeyBlade.. Or money.. so suing is pointless ne?  
  
Warnings - Shounen AI Rei x Kai x Rei. Angst and a little bit of fluff.. god knows how fluff and angst can exist in the same fic. They just do.  
  
  
  
Some things, it's hard to even feel.. nevermind say.  
  
By, Avenged Suffering  
  
  
  
Another victory, that really wasn't a surprise. He knew they were going to beat those damn stuck up lab rats, but he always thought he'd play more of a part. He wanted to run that damn team into the ground, and he could do it, he knew he could! Leader of this team? You could barely tell that he was a member of it anymore. Sure, he'd force them to train, show them how good they could be by, well, beating their blades. But was he ever chosen when it came down to an important match? No! The others were still downstairs, celebrating their victory. Yeah, their victory. He had no part in it. His grandfather would be so proud. "..Kai?" It was one word, but it had almost made the proud Kai topple. The soft kind tone to that voice, it was almost like someone speaking a foreign language to him. He forced his gaze away from Las Vegas' varied skyline and to the dark haired boy who had addressed him.  
  
"What do you want Rei?" Did he always sound that harsh? Yeah, his voice had been conditioned to it after so long. "Why aren't you downstairs?" He sounded incredibly down for someone who had just won the American tournament. Well, at least he got a chance to win it, he blew it, but he had the chance. If he was the one in that battle, the victory would've been clinched. "Just go back to your little party." Another set of sadly, unforced words. Golden eyes, already saddened by his loss in the pivotal match, flinched from the extra harshness of Kai's words. The blue haired boy knew that he had hurt his Chinese comrade, comrade? Ha.. barely a teammate. But the boy whose wardrobe consisted mostly of the purest colour, had been his only link to humanity, his only connection to his own humanity.  
  
He had had strange feelings toward the former white tiger, almost since the very beginning of their relationship. He was no fool, he was quite well educated in fact, he knew that this was a crush. Not love, he would never let himself admit that it was love. After all, why waste your time and effort on an emotion that could never be returned. This was no friendship, this was no love, just a crush, that his mind and body would put down to his teenage hormones and laugh over in a few months time. That was it.. yeah.. So why would his heart never believe him? *Stupid thoughts* He must've been staring past Rei for about 20 seconds when he realised, and still the white tiger had failed to move. "Didn't I tell you to go back to the others?" The words were hurtful and he knew it, but to accentuate the motives behind the words he turned his back on Rei and let his eyes wander back over the night sky.  
  
True, Rei's eyes were coloured a calm, understanding, even soothing gold in majority, but that did not mean there was no fire within them. And after Kai had turned his back, that small spark of fire had turned into a raging blaze. Okay, the guy was their leader, but being leader meant he was part of the team! And being part of the team meant he should be celebrating with the rest of them! Okay.. maybe not all of that was true, he was angry that Kai had ignored him, but the basic rules of camaraderie was not the reason behind it. He was angry because he needed Kai's support and he'd been denied it. He had needed to be alone at first, to consider his failure to the team, and Kai had also denied him that. But the more he stood there, alone with Kai, the more he had needed the world champion to hold him, to comfort him.  
  
"What the hell gives you the right!?" The shout was viscous and abnormally loud for the usually somewhat restrained, Chinese boy. Golden eyes were focused on him in anger, Kai knew it, but as always he ignored it as he had been told. "Damnit Kai! Listen to me!" still there was no movement from holder of the Dranzer bit beast. He was too busy thinking of Rei to actually acknowledge him. It had to be said, the shout from the other boy had shocked him, but he could always rely on Rei to show him new things, to challenge him, like no other person could. Sure Tyson had stood up to him, but Tyson's retorts were always in anger. Rei's never were, they were driven by compassion, by a need to understand. This little outburst however was an exception and at that moment Kai realised just how upset he had made the usually unscathed tiger feel.  
  
"Kai..? ..Kai?" That voice had returned to its usual concerned tone as it filtered through to his ears. The boy with the lighter hair closed his eyes softly before ripping them back open. "What do you want Rei?" This time the words weren't said with even a slight bit of contempt, but they still had no warmth. His voice was as emotionless as he often led himself to believe. "..Are you okay?" Rei had known that he was meant to be angry at the other boy, but Tyson always got at least some reaction out of their leader by shouting at him. He was worried when he got absolutely no reply, no movement, nothing. And as always his compassionate side overthrew his anger. "I'm fine" Okay, he really should've seen that coming. "Look Kai.. I'm sorry I shouted.. I just.." he sighed, yeah, as if the great Kai was listening to him anymore. "Nevermind.. just please try to come down to the party soon ok? We're all missing you there.." *Way to go Rei.. you had to add that last part huh?*  
  
He shouldn't let him leave, shouldn't even let him get anywhere near the door, but his body and mind were fashioned to keep him to the spot. Parts of him, more precisely his heart were screaming for him to stop the retreating tiger, but the pleas barely reached the areas that could do anything about it. His heart's desperate, loud chants, dulled by the cell of ice that the boy had created around it. He had heard Rei's voice, he had heard the need, the want to be comforted, to be recognised, to be helped. "Rei.." It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a command, it was just a word, a word that Kai could find no explanation for. He didn't know where it came from, and he definetly had no idea how it made it to his lips. But Rei's footsteps had stopped, the soft gravel beneath his feet had stopped shifting under his weight. "..Kai?" There it was again, that light quiver in his voice that almost exposed his feelings to the blue haired one infront of him. Silently cursing himself he moved forward. "Kai?.. Did you want me to get you something..? You don't need to go down.." *Damnit Rei! Why did you have to ask me a question?* It was only another excuse to avoid his feelings, his rational side was glad that it came. "..Just a little food.." he had answered quietly. "Yeah.. sure.. I'll bring it up in a minute.." The cold young man could almost feel the warmth of the smile that Rei had cast him. "..Thanks Rei.." Only two words, and yet that smile had greatly widened.  
  
He had only been sitting at the edge of the building another five minutes when Rei had reappeared, carrying more than just a little food and a drink for him. His legs had been dangling off the edge while he sat on the top railing, looking down at the cityscape below him. "..Hey.. I brought your food.." the voice had been deliberately quiet as to not startle him and the young Chinese boy had almost silently placed the plate and glass down on a small outcrop from the roof. Kai twisted his body skillfully and pushed himself from the railing before walking with stealth equal to Rei's to inspect the food. It seemed that working in a restaurant had done the incredibly good looking boy some good, as no one else he knew could gather the foods he liked, piled them so skillfully onto a plate and managed to balance them up three sets of stairs and through three doors without seemingly spilling a drop. The former white tiger had turned to leave again. "..Rei.. I said a little food.. you may as well have some of this." Kai tried to make it sound hurtful, tried to make it sound as though he was calling Rei a fool, but he couldn't pull it off.  
  
Rei had already eaten, he barely had a fifth of the appetite of Tyson, and was incredibly lucky that there was any food left for Kai at all, but he wasn't going to pass up an offer to be closer to the boy that he had found to be more than an enigma since he had joined the team, even before that. He had followed Kai's career in the last tournament, in fact, this kid was practically his role model. But as soon as he had met the world champion, he knew that nothing he had previously known had done the boy justice, nothing. He had always thought that maybe all the profiles on Kai had got it wrong, that there was a fun loving, normal teenager under that icy exterior, but after meeting him he doubted there was much there other than what the boy showed to the world. Even that though, did not put Rei off falling slowly in love with his fellow BladeBreaker. There were holes in that icy statue, there were times when Kai would show some feeling, some compassion and maybe one day those holes would grow, revealing the Kai fangirls around the world were hoping he was. He picked up a small piece of food and put it in his mouth, chewing as these and other thoughts rushed through his head.  
  
They had been eating in a somewhat comfortable silence for a short while before Rei had spoken. "Kai.. Were you always like you are now?" Kai didn't need an interpretation, he knew Rei had meant about him basically being a heartless bastard. "..Yes..". Rei had just laughed, quietly, but it was still a laugh. "You do know what I was asking about don't you?" Kai just nodded, continuing to eat. He knew that Rei didn't mean to be hurtful, he was just asking questions as he usually did to quell that need to understand him. Rei just stared at him, he was unsure how to take it, he thought that maybe Kai had gotten the wrong idea, and that answering yes to being cold and emotionless was just Kai's mistake, but it wasn't. It was true. Rei's brow furrowed slightly, his usually sparkling eyes dulling somewhat as he looked to the ground. "Do you think you could ever change?" his question was directed at Kai, though he was looking and talking to the floor. Kai shrugged before he realised that Rei was paying no attention to him, his feline companion was looking at the floor, so he'd have to voice his thoughts. "Don't know.. never had a reason to try.." His answers were honest, each time, as he always was. Never too guarded, honest about himself, to whomever may ask him the information. "..Do you think you could.. for me?" *ACK!* he never meant to ask that question! He never meant to ask it! It was meant to be just a thought! And before he realised it he was deliberating with himself whether he had said it out loud and by the look on Kai's usually stoic face, he had came to the assumption, that he did indeed voice his thoughts. *Idiot! Idiot! Stupid bloody Idiot!* Rei chanted to himself to block out all other thoughts, of crying, of shouting, of throwing himself off that damn building. He got up and started to quickly walk for the door.  
  
Kai reached up and grabbed the long wave of wrapped hair that had followed the panicked Rei as he tried to flee. He tugged on it suddenly, bringing the Chinese boy to an abrupt stop and he span around. The golden eyes wide in fear and anticipation. "You asked a question.. it would only be polite to wait for the answer.." His dark, suprisingly calm eyes met with the distressed brightly coloured orbs, lulling the boy into a slightly more calmed state. He was physically shaking, but he couldn't help but nod, waiting for the answer while his eyes scanned the floor for something to distract him. "Look at me.." He silently damned it, but he couldn't help obeying the small command, looking Kai directly into his eyes. "I don't know.. but I wouldn't mind trying.."  
  
  
  
  
  
Owari. - My first, and probably last BeyBlade fic. I don't think I went too ooc, but feel free to correct me if you want. Rei and Kai are my favourite couple.. and hope you readers are still out there somewhere.. Review if you will.. comments, criticism, flames, praise, all welcomed with open arms.  
  
Ah well.. might see you again.  
  
*bows*  
  
^_^ Avenged Suffering ^_^ 


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